


The Escape Artist

by ivywoman63



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clexa Week, Clexa Week 2018, Day One, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Romantic Comedy, meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 20:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13795542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivywoman63/pseuds/ivywoman63
Summary: Lexa’s a temporary cop, Clarke’s a  temporary perp.   Small town protest leads to weekend deputy Lexa throwing activist Clarke in the slammer. Three times. Cause Clarke is slippery and keeps escaping. It’s like Orange is the New Black.No, it’s nothing like that.Just a little, fluffy, fun one shot for ClexaWeek 2018.





	The Escape Artist

**Author's Note:**

> To all my avid readers, who know how I like to go on and on in my notes, I’d just like to say, that I threw this together in, like, three days. And then I obsessed over it for thirty. E didn’t like it, the wife was just “Eh.” Way to boost my confidence, ladies. So I curled into a corner for a week, rocking back and forth. AtomicBrunette, Lisam, and the Great Wanheda pulled me back, brushed me off, patted me on the head and told me it was fine. See? They’re not afraid to lie to my face.  
> I jest. It’s not that bad. And, I only say fuck five times.  
> Wait, six. Was it seven? Eight or nine times, tops. Nine. But who’s counting. I just did. It was nine. Boy, that word usage just sneaks up on you sometimes.  
> It's just a fucking one shot. oops. That's ten.

**The Escape Artist**

 

Lexa quietly sipped her afternoon coffee while sitting in her car. A quick peek at her watch told her she had at least ten more minutes before Aden’s school day was over. The building looked the same as it did twenty years ago when she attended grade school here. In fact, the whole town of Arkadia seemed trapped in the 1990’s. All the same mom and pop stores littered Main Street, and it seemed like all the same old timers sat on their stoops discussing politics and sports. They were just grayer and crankier.

Lexa thought she’d never live here again, but here she was, ten years later, healing her heart and her pride after breaking up with Costia. They were together a couple of years, right up to the moment Lexa walked in on her with another woman. In their bed. Costia patiently explained that Lexa had agreed to an open relationship. Evidently this discussion happened while they were having sex for the first time. Lexa must have missed that part of the conversation. Perhaps she was having an orgasm at the time.

So, she left the big city to return to her hometown. She shouldn’t have been surprised that Costia cheated. She was a whirlwind of outgoing energy, where Lexa was quiet and more reserved. Lexa’s ideal date on a Friday night was a cuddle on the couch and a movie with the woman she loved.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the school bell. The doors to the building were thrown open and all the kids came pouring out, like ants out of an ant hill. The town was small enough and safe enough that most of them walked home with no adult escort. Her eyes picked through the masses, searching for her nine-year-old nephew. Finally, she spotted his tell-tale red jacket that Lexa had given him for Christmas. She beeped her horn and waved out the window to get his attention. His gaze found her, and he raced over to the passenger side door, ripping it open and plopping inside.

“Aunt Lex, I made the soccer team!”

“Oh my god, buddy, that’s great news!”

“The coach still remembers you. He said you were the only girl who ever made the boy’s team.”

“Well, we didn’t have a girl’s team back then, so it was play with the the boys or nothing. Your dad is gonna be so proud of you.”

“And, I met a girl today,” he said with a wicked smile.

“You did? Oh, my goodness. How did that happen?”

“She’s my partner in science class. She’s pretty. She has red hair. When are you gonna meet another girl?” he asked as she maneuvered through traffic.

Traffic. She almost laughed at herself. It consisted of ten cars. Moms or dads picking up the kids who lived on the outskirts of town. Nothing like the gridlock of the big city, where a real traffic jam would tie you up for hours.

“Um, I dunno, little man. Someday I guess.” She put her blinker on as she waited at one of the four lights on Main Street.

“You shouldn’t be alone. Dad says so.”

“He does, does he?”

“Yeah. He thinks you should move back to the city.”

“Uh-huh,” Lexa said absentmindedly. She’d had this conversation with Lincoln a few weeks ago. He told her she’d never meet anybody if she stayed in this sleepy town. She made her turn and stopped at light number two, looking at the signs plastered on the light posts. This sleepy town was about to wake up in a big way this weekend. They were smack dab in the middle of a new gas pipeline. This weekend a multitude of people would descend upon them, protesting the company’s ground-breaking ceremony, which would happen tomorrow afternoon, to national fanfare.

Environmentalists, outdoor enthusiasts, and concerned citizens would all be marching in the streets. Lexa knew that the people in this town wouldn’t know what hit them. The light turned green and she stepped on the gas, proceeding through the intersection. Suddenly, flashing lights were in her rearview mirror. She looked up and rolled her eyes, pulling over to the curb. She put her window down and waited.

“License and registration, please.”

Lexa shook her head. “What do you want, Anya?”

“I’m fucking with you.”

“I know.” Anya and Lexa had been best friends in high school. When Lexa turned up a few months ago they rekindled their friendship.

Anya removed her mirrored sunglasses and leaned on Lexa’s door, looking into the car. “Hey Aden.”

“Hi Sheriff Anya! I made the soccer team!”

“Awesome buddy, put it there,” and she leaned past Lexa to fist bump him.

“What’s up? I need to get home,” Lexa said impatiently.

“You need to get home? To what? Your DVD player?” Anya said with a smirk.

Lexa self-consciously slid the two movies she picked up at the library under her console. Evidently her penchant for watching movies on Friday nights was well known.

“God, could you get any more boring?” Anya said. “Why don’t you come out to the bar tonight and we’ll dance on the pool tables like old times.”

Somehow gyrating on top of a weathered pool table in a dive bar surrounded by straight people seemed unappealing. “I’ll pass.”

“Of course you will. Hey buddy, wanna go for a ride with the lights on?”

“Yeah! Aunt Lex, can I go?”

Lexa sighed. It seemed even her nephew thought she was boring. “Sure, I’ll follow you.”

Anya poked her head back in the window. “Oh, one more thing.”

“One more thing? I don’t think you ever came up with a first thing.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“So, I may need you this weekend.”

“Need _me_? For what?” Lexa asked.

“Well, we were supposed to have some reinforcements from Bellwood, but that dickweed Pike isn’t sending anybody now.”

Bellwood was the next sleepy town over from Arkadia. And beyond that was Creekside, and beyond that was Warren. You could start driving in Arkadia and be sound asleep by Warren.

“So, what’s that got to do with me?”

“We’re gonna have a lot of traffic and protesters. I’m gonna need help.”

“Why can’t Gus help you?” Gus was Anya’s boyfriend. She lost her virginity to Gus while riding on a hay baling machine in the middle of his parent’s wheat field. They were both juniors in high school at the time. The bales formed on that fateful day were still part of the town’s lore. Many blaming aliens on the peculiar shapes that littered the landscape.

“He’s gotta go to the city for work tomorrow. C’mon. What the hell else do you have going on?”

Lexa was confused as to exactly what her job entailed. “But, what am I supposed to do?”

“I’ll deputize you for the weekend. You can even carry a gun, if you want.”

“I don’t want. And deputize me? Where are we? Westworld?”

“I just need you to stand around and look like you know what you’re doing. We’re putting barricades up along the streets. You stand behind them and look official. Don’t worry, you don’t have to talk to anybody. I know it’s against your religion to be social.”

“Very funny.” Lexa was not going to apologize for being introverted.

“Cool!” Aden shouted. “Aunt Lex, do it. Does she get a uniform?” he asked.

Anya smiled at him. “She sure does. What do you say Lex? I need help. You can sit around watching movies and reading books next weekend.”

Lexa rubbed her eyes. Yes, she was boring. Maybe this would be fun. “Okay. Tell me where to be and when.”

“I’ll stop by later with one of my uniforms and we’ll talk then. Yo kid, you ready to go for a ride?”

“Yeah,” Aden said as he bolted out the passenger-side door.

“Be careful,” Lexa called out, as they piled into Anya’s cruiser. The lights went on and Anya took off. Lexa smiled, yes, the sheriff of her hometown took small children for joy rides in her cruiser.

*** * ***

Lexa sat in the sheriff’s office bright and early the following morning, along with four other new “deputies.” She pulled at the collar of her borrowed shirt. She wasn’t overly fond of the dull khaki and green color of the sheriff’s uniforms. And it was not breathable. She was sure to sweat off a few pounds today in the heat. The office left a lot to be desired. Lexa was sitting on one of the three desks that filled the space, the one with the phone and a computer. There were some filing cabinets, a large cork board on the wall with a puppy calendar tacked to it, and an actual jail cell that doubled as a kitchenette. Obviously, there hadn’t been a criminal in the cell for years. The current occupants were some magazines on a small stand with a Keurig coffee maker and a vending machine that looked like it was from the 1970’s. Lexa swore she saw Ding Dongs in it. She was however, impressed with the Keurig. A tiny table and chair completed the ensemble.

Anya came wandering in with a tray full of coffee and donuts from the local diner. “Okay, who wants fresh coffee? And I got donuts.”

“Breakfast of champions,” Lexa mumbled.

“What was that Woods?”

“Nothing.” Lexa could envision the entire force sugar crashing in an hour, slumped over a barricade as a bunch of strangers swung from the lamp posts.

She looked around at the other recruits. There were the Blakes, Octavia and Bellamy. A brother sister combo. Not the brightest candles in the church. Back in the day Lexa used to refer to them as Dee and Dum. As in, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb. Harper, who worked at the local hair salon, and who’s current hair color of choice was seafoam green, and Barbara, the oldest and most out of shape of the bunch, who carried her extra weight proudly. She was in her late forties, and was the town’s real estate agent, her smiling, full face adorning all the _For Sale_ signs littering the front lawns of those lucky enough to escape.

Lexa was the only one in a complete official uniform, since she and Anya were close in size. The rest of the bunch had on khaki dress pants and any button-down shirt Anya could rustle up. Octavia’s shirt hung down to her knees, Barbara’s barely buttoned, and Harper had already clipped bling pins all over the front of hers. Lexa could only read a few from her vantage point, but she saw “Peace Out” and “Save the Whales.” Sounded like it could be a conflict of interest today.

Bellamy, who was constantly flipping his head to remove his shaggy brown hair from his eyes,  
had a green T-shirt underneath his unbuttoned button-down that said, “Get lit.” And there was a picture of a joint on it. Arkadia’s finest.

Anya walked around the group with her box of donuts. “Eat up people, you’re gonna need energy.”

Lexa bit her tongue. Evidently Anya was not one to study nutrition. She was thankful for her scrambled eggs and rye toast this morning.

“I have a list here, with names and what intersection you’ll be stationed at. Look it over. We’re expecting people to start trickling in around nine a.m. The pipeline people will be here at noon, to get their photo ops with their backhoes, bulldozers, and shovels. Your job is to make sure nobody crosses the barricades, nobody lays down in front of any heavy machinery, and nobody shouts rude things.”

“Ah, how are we supposed to stop people from shouting rude things?” Octavia asked, not bothering to look up from her phone.

“Shoot them,” Anya said with a serious expression on her face.

That got her attention as both Blakes brightened. “We get to shoot people?” Bellamy asked.

O smiled at her brother. “We’re getting guns?”

“I’m fucking with you. And no guns for you two jackasses.”

They were both disappointed. Octavia looked over at Lexa and scoffed, “Why does she get a gun?”

Lexa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She didn’t want the gun, but Anya insisted last night that she carry one, just in case anything got out of hand.

“She gets one because she has a license to carry,” Anya said.

A harmless white lie Lexa thought. Quite frankly, there was nobody else in this rag tag group capable of handling one. She had no intention of using it, she had no intention of touching it. She didn’t even want to look at it. In fact, she didn’t even have it loaded right now. She hadn’t shot a gun in years, since high school, when she used to go target shooting with her dad and Lincoln. If the target was the side of their barn, she would hit it. That was the level of her marksmanship. Anya told her to think of it as more of a deterrent.

“Lexa!”

“What?”

“Pay attention. Do you see that you and Harper are at Main and Poplar?”

“Got it.”

“That’s ground zero. I’m trusting you two at ground zero. That’s where the groundbreaking ceremony will be.”

“Yup. Got it boss,” Lexa said.

“Barbara!”

“Yes?” Barbara called from the vending machine. She came back with an arm full of Ding Dongs. She began distributing them to the crew. “Put them in your pockets for later, people. We may be out there a while.”

Lexa looked at the creme-filled cake that was tossed in her lap. “Jesus, how old are these?”

Barbara looked over at her, “They never go bad. That’s why they fill them with preservatives. To keep them fresh for a long time.”

Lexa peeked at the expiration date, cocking an eyebrow at the numbers on the underside of the plastic. They were older than Aden. She casually tucked it into the pocket of her shirt. Might come in handy later, as a missile. It was sure hard enough.

Anya continued her instructions. “Barbara, you’re at Main and Ash. Blakes, you guys are at Main and Oak. I’ll roam around and check in on everyone throughout the day. You can start making your way to your posts now. And here,” she handed out walkie talkies to the group, “let’s keep in touch in case of emergencies. It’s already on channel two, leave it there. This is for official business only. I don’t need to be hearing about anyone’s date last night.”

Barbara’s hand was up.

“Yes, Barbara.”

“I brought my beach chair if that’s okay. My sciatica is acting up.” She looked around the room for validation, getting a sympathetic nod from Harper, who spent all day on her feet and was also bothered by lower back pain.

“Cool, we can have chairs then?” O asked.

“I’d prefer you stand, but if it’s a medical necessity, you can sit,” Anya said.

“Well, fuck, I have my period, so I’m sitting,” O mumbled to her brother.

“Oh, and Barbara’s secretary made these for you.” Anya handed out name tags.

Lexa looked at it. “These are letters cut out from a magazine, scotch taped to a pin.”

Barbara was quick to interject. “The label maker broke.”

Lexa pinned it to her chest. The fonts of the letters weren’t even the same. It looked like a serial killer made them. “Is that the only label maker in town?”

Barbara looked around the room, “I think so. Do you have one?” she asked the Blakes.

“Not since I was five,” O quipped.

“All right, any more questions?” Anya asked.

Bellamy raised his hand. “Do we get to drive a squad car?”

Anya glared at him. “No, you don’t get to drive a squad car.”

“Are we arresting people? Cause I brought my own handcuffs,” O stated proudly, taking her cuffs out of her pocket and dangling them in the air.

Lexa glanced at them, “They’re furry.”

“Yeah well, I use them for other things,” O said with a leer.

Anya took a deep breath and looked towards the heavens. “You’re not arresting people. I arrest people. The only thing you’re doing, is standing—”

“Sitting, we’re sitting.” O crossed her arms. “I got my period and I’m sitting.”

Anya sighed. “The only thing you’re doing is standing, or sitting, and looking official. Don’t engage with the protesters, just remain silent.”

“Unless they yell rude things, then we can punch them, right?” O asked.

“No punching, no shooting, just call me on the walkie, okay?”

O huffed and nodded. Today was not going to be as exciting as she had hoped.

Everyone stood up. Barbara grabbed her pink and white beach chair, which was adorned with smiling crabs and dolphins. The Blakes wheeled away the office chairs they were sitting on. Lexa was pretty sure that’s not what Anya meant to happen.

Lexa and Harper took their positions at the assigned intersection. There were a couple of people from the press wandering around. Lexa politely told them that they had to be on the other side of the barricade. The large backhoe stood ready to take its first scoop of earth. The bulldozer sat next to it. There were a couple of shovels stuck into the ground also. A few protesters were wandering the streets looking for coffee and trying to get organized.

Both Lexa’s and Harper’s walkies buzzed.

“What’s mom cooking for dinner tonight?” Bell asked over their secure communication channel.

The walkie beeped as O answered, “I dunno bro. Breaker one nine, breaker one nine, over.”

“I hope it’s not meatloaf, over.”

Lexa pushed her button, “Ah, guys, Anya said this was for emergencies only.”

“Relax Woods. This is an emergency. I’m hungry,” Bell replied. “Who’s got the Ding Dongs?”

Lexa wanted to say, Anya got the ding dongs, and their names were Bellamy and Octavia. She bit her tongue and tried a different tact. “You are literally three feet from your sister, I don’t think the walkie talkies are necessary.”

“Who made you commander?” Octavia demanded.

“Hello? Hello?”

Lexa pushed her button, “Barbara?”

“Yes. I just wanted to make sure it worked. Over and up.”

“You mean over and out, over,” O said sarcastically.

Lexa talked into her walkie, “Yes, it works. You’re good.”

“Thanks,” Barbara replied back to Lexa.

Lexa continued to hear Barbara’s voice.

“Hey Cheryl! My god how are you...Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Lexa looked down at the walkie in her hand as Barbara’s conversation continued.

“Did you hear about Sue? Evidently Herb has some sexually transmitted disease…uh-huh...that’s what I said...you just can’t trust a man when they’re away from home…”

Lexa cringed. Evidently Barbara didn’t realize her walkie talkie was still on. She pushed her button to talk. “Hey Barbara, take your finger off the button.”

But Barbara couldn’t hear her because only one person could be speaking at a time. “I told Sue, to tell him, that he’s lucky his pecker didn’t fall off...right...I know…”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Barbara!” she yelled, just as Barbara’s finger finally fell off the button.

“Oh wait, what? Who’s this?”

“It’s Lexa, take your finger off the button when you’re done speaking.”

“What? Oh, oh my. Okay.”

Finally, radio silence. Lexa breathed a sigh of relief. There were only so many things she needed to know about the population of Arkadia, and who had what sexually transmitted disease was not one of them.

*** * ***

“Where we setting up, Clarkie? I’m hot already,” Raven said as she lugged her playmate cooler through the crowded streets of Arkadia.

“I don’t know yet. Are you gonna start complaining already? We just got here. I have no idea why you keep coming to these things with me.”

“Well, it’s my duty as your bff to assist you in these matters. And to meet chicks. Well, really, mostly to meet chicks.”

“What?”

“I’m hoping to stumble upon a nice, crunchy lesbian that I can settle down with.”

“Define crunchy.”

“Flannel shirt—”

“It’s kinda hot for flannel today.”

“Boots—”

“Hairy legs?”

“No, I need the legs shaved. I can’t get past hairy legs. Not that there's anything wrong with it. It's just a preference. So, what are we protesting this week?”

“A new pipeline. This stupid thing is cutting right across a sensitive environmental area. There’s endangered birds nesting there, there’s a river that’ll probably be polluted, tainting the drinking water—”

“Okay, okay. I get it. What’s your boring ass boyfriend doing?”

“He’s not that bad.”

“Whatever. Is he ready to bail you out if you get thrown in the slammer again? I seem to remember him laying down the law after that last time.”

“Well, he did say to stay out of jail, so I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

The girls wandered around, asking the locals questions, and finally got pointed in the right direction. As they approached the crowded barricade they noticed two policemen standing guard.

“Great Clarke, look, cops. I’m sure the slammer isn’t far away. Ten bucks says you can’t stay out of jail.”

Clarke ignored her as they wedged and shoved and pushed their way to the front.

“Whew. Thank god, at least there’s air up here,” Raven said. She took a quick peek at the police presence. “Be still my super gay heart, that’s a chick,” she whispered to Clarke.

“What?”

“The cop’s a chick, Clarke, and she looks damn fine. I mean, it’s not flannel, probably cotton, but it’ll do.”

“Oh my god, we’re here on a mission.”

“I know, to find me a date,” Raven said.

“That’s not our mission.”

“It is now. C’mon wingman, help out your platonic soul mate. She’s hot.” Raven said as she continued to stare at the tall drink of heavenly water in front of her. “Oh, officer! Officer!”

Clarke was mortified. “Oh...my...god.”

 

Lexa was impressed with the size of the crowd. Who knew a little pipeline could generate so much angst. Her gaze landed on two women who were shoving their way through the crowd. She narrowed her eyes. They looked like trouble. They managed to squeeze themselves in front of the masses, almost tipping over the barricade in the process. The one girl, a brunette, had a cooler, and she placed it down on the wrong side of the imaginary “no-go” line. Lexa decided to let this slide for now.

Lexa’s Oakley sunglasses concealed the direction of her glance, as she continued to look at the two newcomers. She had an odd sensation that maybe she had seen the blonde before, but she couldn’t quite place where it would have been. She really was lovely. Lexa loved blondes. Costia had been blonde. Maybe she should go for a redhead next time. As her thoughts wandered back to the disaster that was her relationship with Costia, the brunette called out and was waving.

“Oh, officer! Officer!”

Lexa hesitated. She looked around, thinking perhaps she was waving at someone else. Well it wasn't Harper, who had sought out a young man in the crowd and was chatting him up in a flirtatious manner. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the young woman. “Yes?”

“Ah,” the brunette looked down at Lexa’s name tag, “Officer....ah, Woo? Is it? I like that,” she said as she turned to the blonde. “It’s Officer Woo.”

Lexa took a quick glance down and noticed that the last two letters had curled up and fallen off her name tag. The sun probably melted the adhesive on the scotch tape.

Lexa cleared her throat, “It’s Woods, not Woo.”

“So, Officer Woo, when does the fun start?”

“Fun?”

“Yeah, like when do you get off duty? I’m Raven Reyes by the way, and this is Clarke Griffin.” She stuck her hand out.

Lexa hesitated. Orders were not to engage. Was this engaging? This was simply a hello handshake. She reached out and shook her hand, then turned to the blonde. Her hand hung in the air for a moment as the blonde was deciding what to do. Finally, she grasped Lexa’s hand and looked at her. Oh shit, Lexa thought, blue eyes. Blonde hair and blue eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Officer Woo.”

“It’s Woods, actually,” Lexa said, thankful for her sunglasses, hoping they concealed her weakness for blondes with blue eyes. And suddenly, it hit her. She knew where she had seen the blonde before. It was about a year ago, at The Tower, the hottest gay club in Polis.

 

_Lexa went over to the bar to get herself another beer. As she waited on the bartender, she turned around and watched Costia. They had been together a year now, and Lexa was still amazed at how she commanded a room. There must have been fifteen people gathered around her. After paying the bartender, she turned around quickly, bumping into someone and spilling her beer on them. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”_

_“Shit, I’m sorry too. I didn’t even see you there,” the woman said as she brushed at the front of her shirt._

_Lexa turned around and grabbed handful of cocktail napkins from the bar. She reached out and started patting the other woman’s shirt, not realizing that she was in fact, touching her breasts. When she brushed a nipple, she froze. Her face flushed as the blonde gently grabbed her hand. Lexa was mortified. She stole a glance at the woman._

_“I got it, thanks.” Warm blue eyes stared back at her, crinkled at the corners from the smile below._

_“Um, sorry ‘bout that. I didn’t mean to, ah, touch you…” Lexa stammered._

_“That’s okay, I didn’t mind,” she said with a wink. She finished patting herself dry and put the balled-up damp napkins back on the bar. Another warm smile and she was gone. Her perfume lingered in the air and Lexa breathed it in. Sunshine, she swore it smelled like sunshine. Lexa wanted to call out to her, but it was too late._

_For the rest of the evening she found herself searching out the blonde. She had no idea why. She was dating Costia. She shouldn’t be watching some stranger dance and laugh with her friends. She shouldn’t care when the blonde would kiss them and hug them. At one point, Lexa had to fight the urge to follow her to the bathroom, just so they could interact again. It was as if nothing else in the world mattered anymore. Occasionally, their eyes would meet, and Lexa didn’t flinch, she held onto those blue eyes for as long as she dared. It was during one of these long glances that Lexa smiled, and got one in return, but the magic moment was interrupted when Costia grabbed her to introduce her to yet another new friend. When Lexa was able to scan the room a few minutes later, the blonde was nowhere to be found._

_For the next few weeks, she couldn’t shake the image of blue eyes and the warmest smile. Eventually time wore down the memory. The edges became soft, the image blurry. And the blonde was filed away in the drawer marked, someone she met once a long time ago._

 

“Woods, a word!”

Lexa was snapped out of her daydream by Anya’s gruff voice. She hustled over to see what she wanted. “Yeah?”

“No engaging with the protesters, remember?”

“Oh, I was just saying hi.”

“Which would be engaging. No talking, no touching, got it? I’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Lexa was bummed. She was hoping to chat up the blonde for a bit, to see if she remembered their encounter at the bar.

She spent the next hour just scanning the crowd, looking for any rowdies. No matter where she looked, her eyes always found their way back to Clarke. Clarke Griffin. She loved her name. She wanted to say it out loud.

Close to noon, Anya showed up with a man in a light gray suit and a dark blue tie, his hair slicked back with too much gel. “Yo Lexa, Harper, come over here.”

When the girls approached, Anya introduced them. “This is John Murphy. He’s the CEO of Fleim Oil and Gas. He’ll be posing for the pictures today. This is Lexa and Harper.”

John stuck his hand out, “Girls, nice to meet you.”

Lexa bristled at the “girls” comment. “Nice to meet you.” She reluctantly shook his hand, giving it a tug back when she felt that he held onto it for too long.

John gave her a sly smile, “You wouldn’t perhaps be free for dinner tonight?”

Before Lexa could tell him to go pound sand, there was a shout from the protesters. “You’re destroying the environment!”

The five of them turned to look.

Lexa smirked as she saw it was the blonde. Feisty. Did she like feisty women? She did now.

Clarke cupped her hands around her mouth and continued to shout. “You’re polluting the environment!”

John turned back around to Anya. “Another bored housewife,” he sneered. “I hope you can keep these crowds in check today, sheriff.”

“Don’t you worry, we’ve got it covered.” John turned and walked away. Anya stared after him. “He seems like an ass.”

Lexa agreed with her. “And he’s sleazy.”

A few minutes later and the show was ready to begin. Lexa watched as the driver climbed aboard the backhoe and turned the engine on. John Murphy was waving to the photographers as he went to grab a shovel. What Lexa missed was one Clarke Griffin jumping the barricade, shooting past her, and lying on the ground smack dab in front of the large scoop of the backhoe. Mr. Murphy gestured wildly to Lexa to remove her.

“Oh shit,” she said as she ran over to the prone blonde. “Ah, you have to get up, please.”

John walked over to Lexa. “Get her the hell out of here,” he demanded, his lip curled in disgust.

Lexa was caught between a rock and a hard place. She wasn’t supposed to engage verbally with the protesters, well that went out the window about an hour ago, and she sure as shit wasn’t supposed to engage physically with them, already getting in trouble for her earlier transgression. She picked up her walkie, “Ah, Anya, we have a situation at the backhoe, over.”

Anya had gone into the crowd to make sure nobody pressed forward into the barricades. After a couple seconds of static, Anya’s voice came on. “What happened?”

“Ah, we have a four nine...one?”

“What the fuck is that?”

Lexa no idea. She pulled that one out of her ass. “Um, a protester broke through the barricade and is now lying in front of the backhoe...oh, over.”

“Shoot ‘em!” came Octavia’s voice.

“Yeah, gimme a gun, I’ll shoot him,” Bellamy said over the walkie.

The rest of the crowd started to get restless, some quietly cheered Clarke, egging her on.

“You go, Clarkie!” Raven shouted.

Lexa looked around frantically for Anya, the crowd now applauding and chanting “No pipeline, no pipeline.”

Finally, Anya showed up, jumping the barricade. She came over and stood next to Lexa, looking down at Clarke, then back at the rowdy crowd. “Arrest her,” she said to Lexa. She picked up the walkie, “We need reinforcements at ground zero, now. All hands on deck.” She gestured at Clarke, “Arrest her Lexa.”

Lexa was at a loss. Surely this was above her pay grade.

Anya tossed her car keys to Lexa. “Now! Put her in the squad car and take her back to the station, before things get out of hand.”

Lexa caught the keys tight to her chest. “Wha? Arrest her? With what? I don’t even have handcuffs.”

The Blakes were the first reinforcements to arrive at the scene, running up to see what was going on.

Anya looked at O, “Give Lexa your handcuffs.”

“I’ll do it. Let me do it,” O said, eager for the confrontation.

“Give them to Lexa, and the two of you go stand by the barricade and look mean.”

O reluctantly gave up her pink, furry handcuffs. “Here. And here’s the key.”

Anya took one last look at Lexa, then pointed emphatically at Clarke. “Lexa, get her out of here.” When Lexa didn’t respond, she growled, “Move it!” She walked over to join the Blakes.

Lexa looked down at Clarke, who was flat on her back. “Ah, Miss, um…”

Clarke smiled up at her, “You can call me Clarke.”

“Miss Clarke, please come with me.”

“You’re gonna have to cuff me and drag me away, or else I’m staying right here!” Clarke called out, loud enough so the front of the crowd could hear. They cheered louder.

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat, unsure how to proceed. She looked at the handcuffs, took the key and opened them.

“My god, are those your sex handcuffs?” Clarke asked incredulously.

“They’re not mine, no. Please put your hands out.”

“What kind of jackass operation is this?” Clarke asked quietly.

“Hands please.”

Clarke was having none of it. Lexa reached down, and snapped them on, not bothering to cuff her from behind. This was hard enough without flipping the blonde over and putting her face in the mud. When they were securely around Clarke’s wrists, she gently pulled her up from the ground to a sitting position. She tried to remember all the cop shows she’d ever seen “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say, will be, ah…” She drew a blank as her eyes rested on Clarke’s chest. Suddenly, she was transported back to the bar, dabbing at those breasts, caressing them. As Clarke got to her feet, Lexa loosened her grip, and Clarke promptly sat back down on the ground, to the cheers of the crowd.

Anya sent Bellamy over to help. He yanked the blonde up, tossed her over his shoulder and made his way towards the barrier. Octavia and Anya made a path through the crowd. As Clarke bounced along on Bell’s back, she raised her cuffed hands in victory. Bell deposited her into the back of Anya’s cruiser and slammed the door.

Lexa climbed into the driver’s seat and put the key in the ignition. The plastic barrier between the two seats was currently folded down. Lexa wondered if she should take the time to put it up. The crowd was starting to sound angry, so in the interest of getting the hell out of there quickly, she threw the car in gear and headed down the street. No barrier, no problem. The blonde looked innocent enough.

Almost as if she read her mind, Clarke chirped, “You don’t have to keep me cuffed, I’m not going anywhere.”

Lexa hit the red light at Main and Oak. She turned around and looked at her passenger. Clarke smiled sweetly at her and Lexa blushed. It really was a great smile. And god damn she smelled good. Sunshine.

Clarke shoved her cuffed hands over the seat, offering them up, giving Lexa her best puppy dog eyes.

Lexa was powerless to resist. She was blonde. And she had blue eyes. “You promise? You’re not going anywhere?”

“I promise.”

“You’re not gonna attack me or anything,” Lexa said with a small smile. My god, was that a pathetic attempt to flirt with her? This was police business. Get it together, Lexa.

Clarke winked at her, “I’m sure you’re strong enough to subdue me.”

Lexa’s smile broadened. Yes, so weak. Blondes made her _weak_. She got out the key and opened the cuffs, resting them on the passenger seat next to her. “Okay, behave now.”

“I will Woo.”

Lexa didn’t bother to correct her. Suddenly the air didn’t feel so stuffy. Her heart rate kicked up a notch. She put the cruiser in gear, catching Clarke’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. So sparkly and mischievous looking. So fucking blue. Blondes were definitely more fun. Lexa’s smile was stuck to her face as she pulled through the green light, the crowd noise fading as she moved along Main Street.

“Hey Woo, I could really use a cup of coffee, any good coffee places around here?”

“Um, you want coffee now?” Lexa said, turning slightly so Clarke could hear her.

“Yeah, isn’t it a thing? One phone call, one cup of coffee?”

“I don’t think that’s a thing, no.”

“C’mon. Please? What harm could it do? I drove all morning to get here, I never got the chance to have a cup.”

Lexa processed this information. She knew she couldn’t function without her cup of Joe in the morning. Everyone should have their cup of Joe in the morning. To deny the blonde would be like police brutality. The next glance in the mirror brought her pleading, baby blues. Lexa’s heart melted a little. Just a little, somewhere in the middle. “I guess I could stop by Grounder’s and get you a cup.”

“Really? My god, that would be the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me.”

Well, that settled it. Lexa could be part of the sweetest thing ever done for Clarke. “Okay, it’s right up here.” She took a right-hand turn and parked a couple doors down from Grounder’s Cafe. “How do you like it?”

“Two sugars, two creams, please,” Clarke said with wide thankful eyes.

Lexa felt fairly confident the blonde would behave herself. The back door of the squad car could only be opened from the outside. “Now, don’t you go anywhere,” she teased.

“I won’t.”

“I’ll be right back. And let’s keep this little, ah, indiscretion between us, okay?”

“You got it, Woo,” Clarke said with a wide grin.

Lexa left the squad car and walked down to the cafe. She patiently waited in line for about ten minutes, ordering Clarke’s coffee just the way she liked it. Don’t think she didn’t file this little tidbit away. She was humming happily to herself as she walked back to the car. However, her happiness was short lived, because the driver’s door was open and there was no blue-eyed blonde-haired fairy tale princess anywhere to be found. She must have crawled over the seat. “Son of a bitch! Ugh!” Her walkie buzzed. It was Sheriff Anya.

“Woods?”

She put the coffee in the car and pushed the button, “Yes?”

“Why is your perp back here lying on the ground in front of the backhoe?”

“Ah, yes. About that, I, um, seemed to have misplaced her.”

“Woods?”

“Yes?”

“Get the fuck back here.”

“Right, I mean, roger, ten four. Over. And out.” Lexa quickly got back into the car.

Her walkie talkie crackled. “Hey bro, Woods lost the perp,” and Octavia guffawed. “Woods, you suck at coppin’.”

Great, you know it’s bad when the Blakes are telling you that you suck at something. When Lexa arrived at the scene, Octavia was still laughing at her and Harper was on the other side of the barrier, chanting with the protesters. Evidently, she switched sides. Lexa picked up the pink, furry handcuffs and rushed out of the car.

Anya stood with her arms folded, a sour look on her face. She pointed towards Clarke, who was lying between the two heavy pieces of machinery, arguing with John Murphy, to the crowd’s delight. When Lexa stood in front of Clarke, she glared down at her. “Hey, you promised.”

Clarke gave her the most angelic look. “I can’t help it if you didn’t lock the doors, Woo.”

“Put your hands out please,” Lexa said.

Clarke slowly put her hands out, smiling. Lexa would not fall for that smile again. She cuffed her, and brusquely pulled her up, leading her away again, the crowd jeering and chanting Clarke’s name.

“You go, Clarkie!” Raven shouted. “That’s twice in one day! A new record! And you owe me ten bucks! Or twenty, you owe me twenty bucks!”

Lexa put Clarke back in the squad car and shut the door. She got in the front seat and started the engine.

“Hey Woo, is that my coffee?”

“It’s Woods, and yes, it _was_ your coffee, but now it’s _mine_.” Lexa made a show of taking a big gulp, forgetting how scalding hot Grounder’s Coffee could be. It was one of their advertising taglines, “Come to Grounder’s for the hottest cup of coffee in the state.” The scorching brew hit the back of her throat, causing a chain reaction. First, she hunched her shoulders, then she coughed, and finally, she spit out the offending liquid all over the windshield. She took a couple of quick breaths, hoping to put out the fire in her mouth. And her tongue was basically fucked. That was gonna blister.

“Everything okay up there, Woo?”

“Fine,” Lexa squeaked. She drove straight to the station. No coffee breaks this time.

Her walkie buzzed. “Lexa, you okay? Did you need any help, honey?”

“No thanks Barbara, I’ve got it under control.”

“All right, let me know if you need me. Not much action where I’m at. Over and up.”

Before Lexa could say thank you, Barbara’s voice was still broadcasting. “You who! Mary Beth! Mary Beth! Hey doll...I’m good, how about you...Did you hear about Herb? His pecker nearly fell off from some venereal disease...Yes, VD...Sue is beside herself…”

“What happened to Herb’s pecker?” Clarke asked as she leaned over the seat.

“I really don’t wanna know.” Lexa kept her eyes forward, still annoyed.

When Lexa arrived at the sheriff’s office, she took Clarke out of the car and immediately put her in the cell, shutting the door.

“Wow, a vending machine. Are those Ding Dongs?” Clarke was staring at the array of old-time cakes and candies. “Huh. I didn’t know they still made them. Hey, are there any k-cups out there, and a mug?”

Lexa was giving her the silent treatment.

“You know I get one phone call. And I don’t think I need the cuffs anymore, Woo.”

Lexa continued to remain silent as she walked over and unlocked the cuffs. She walked back to the desk and sat down on the one chair that was left in the room.

“Are you ignoring me?”

Lexa was trying to play it cool. She refused to be affected by blonde hair and blue eyes anymore today. It was a pride thing. She sat back, putting her feet on the desk, tipping her chair back, apparently a little too far, and down she went in a thunderous heap. “Son of a bitch.” She hopped up, righted her chair and took a seat.

Clarke snickered, and Lexa glared at her.

“Are you mad at me, Woo?” Clarke called from solitary confinement.

“You promised,” Lexa sulked. She was humiliated in front of hundreds of people. It was almost unforgivable.

“You’re kinda cute when you pout.”

Lexa’s resolve wobbled briefly at the compliment. Then she felt the blister forming on her tongue, and she sat up straighter in her chair. Her wounded pride giving her inner strength. She should continue to ignore her. Ignore her!

“I know my rights, and I’m allowed a phone call.”

Lexa huffed. She knew she was correct. She watched enough Law and Order. However, the phone cord would never reach all the way over to the jail cell. She was in a quandary.

“Just give me your phone, Woo, that way you don’t have to let me out. You know, in case I give you the slip again.”

“Very funny. Where’s your phone?”

“I lost it, probably in the back of the police car. Maybe you could go check for me.”

“Oh no, I’m staying right here.” There was no way she was letting the blonde out of her sight again.

“Okay, then give me your phone so I can make my one phone call. It’s the law.”

Lexa thought it over, and it did seem like the best solution. “You better give it back.” She got up and passed her phone through the bars. When their fingers touched, Lexa felt a current, a tiny spark of energy. She pulled her hand back and cursed her stupid affliction.

As Lexa walked back to her desk, Clarke moved to the other side of the cell. Lexa could overhear her as she spoke softly into the phone.

“Hey, it’s me...Yeah...So, I got arrested...I know what you said...c’mon Finn, you’re not gonna leave me here...fine...fine...I get it...thanks for nothing.” Clarke sighed. “Jackass,” she said quietly.

Lexa felt embarrassed for eavesdropping, so she picked up a Farm and Feed magazine that was sitting out and began paging aimlessly through it.

Clarke spoke up after about five minutes, “Here’s your phone, thanks.”

“Oh, okay.” Lexa went over and grabbed it, careful to keep her fingers squarely on her phone.

“Hey, I gotta pee.”

Lexa looked at her, confused. “Ah…”

“Jesus, just walk me down to the bathroom. I’m not going anywhere.”

Lexa’s brows drew together, famous last words. “Is that another promise?”

“I swear. Unless you want me to just pop a squat here. I can certainly do that,” and Clarke started unbuttoning her pants and pulling them down.

“No, no, no, no. Okay, okay.” That’s all Lexa needed was to be on duty while someone was half naked in the cell. She was sure that had to be some sort of harassment claim waiting to happen. She craned her neck down the hallway that led to the back of the building. She saw a door, walked towards it and pushed it open. It was a small restroom with no windows. All seemed good. Lexa walked back to her prisoner. “I’ll let you out, the bathroom is right there. I’ll be watching, so don’t try any funny business.” She opened the cell door and pointed to the left.

Clarke smiled as she passed her.

Lexa felt a little quiver in her stomach as the blonde’s perfume wafted over her. That smell had haunted her dreams for months last year.

Lexa went back to the desk and sat down. She took out her phone and checked her emails. After ten minutes she realized the blonde had never made it back to the cell. She shot out of her chair and ran back to the bathroom door, which was ajar. “Son of a bitch!” She did a quick survey of the hallway and saw the back door ajar. “Son of a bitch!” She ran out the back door and looked around, then wandered back to the side of the building and noticed that Anya’s cruiser was gone. “Son of a bitch,” she said quietly, remembering that she left the keys tucked up in the sun visor. “God damn it,” she muttered.

She looked around for some sort of transportation. Mrs. Hancock sat on her stoop across the street, her bicycle nearby. Lexa waved at her, “Hey Mrs. Hancock. Did you see anyone take the police car?”

“I saw a pretty, young, blonde woman drive off in it. She a friend of yours?”

“Not really. Do you mind if I borrow your bike?”

“No, sweetie, go right ahead.”

Lexa jogged across the street and hopped on the bike. It was a three-wheeler, the kind found in retirement communities all over the country. It had a pretty, pink basket attached to the handlebars. She pedaled down Main Street, her eyes scanning the side streets for the police cruiser. After striking out on Main, she headed up Wilson, where there were a few small diners that served lunch. Sure enough, up ahead was the cruiser, parked in a no parking zone. Lexa looked across the street and there was Clarke with Raven, sitting on the outdoor patio of Monty’s Diner, enjoying what looked to be a Caesar salad with chicken. Lexa parked her bike and walked across the street to confront her detainee. As she walked over to them, Raven looked up and spotted her.

“Uh-oh Clarke, you’re in trouble now.”

Clarke smiled at Lexa, “Officer Woo, to what do we owe the pleasure? Nice bike by the way.”

Lexa was steamed, but she tried to be calm on the outside. “Clarke, you promised.”

“I don’t know if I actually promised. Did you know there’s a back door at the station? I didn’t know, until I walked down the hallway. And the door was open, so I figured, why not? I was hungry, and the Ding Dongs weren’t doing it for me. Here, join us.” Clarke pointed at an empty chair.

Lexa took a deep breath. Strangling was considered assault. Best to keep her cool. She sat down. “You know, I’m pretty sure stealing a police vehicle is a felony.”

“I’m not sure about that.”

Lexa got out her phone to google it.

“Are you googling it?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.”

“I think it’s just a misdemeanor,” Clarke said, straining her neck to peer at Lexa’s search results.

Raven interjected, “Or maybe Grand Theft Auto. Either way, you’re gonna do some hard time for that one, Clarkie.”

“I just borrowed it. Woo left the keys in it.”

“Ha! I was right,” Lexa said triumphantly. “It’s actually grand larceny, punishable by up to twenty years in jail!”

“You gonna put me away for twenty years, Woo. For being hungry?”

Lexa couldn’t do that to her, of course. As annoyed as she was, seeing Clarke behind bars for twenty years was a nonstarter. “You need to come back to jail. Now please.”

“Let me finish my salad, and I’ll go willingly.”

“So, Woo, you live here?” Raven asked.

“Yeah.”

“Your whole life?”

“No, I was living in Polis the past ten years. I just came home recently to take care of some personal stuff. Okay, enough chit chat, we need to go, Clarke.”

Clarke finished up her salad and wiped her mouth with her napkin. “All right, I’m ready. Raven, I’ll catch you a little later.”

“No, you won’t, unless you post bail,” Lexa said, leading Clarke back to the cruiser.

“How much is bail?”

“I don’t know, probably five thousand dollars.” Lexa knew that was an exaggeration. She opened the back door of the car and put her hand out for the keys.

Clarke dug in her pockets and handed them over. “Oh my god, it can’t be that much.” She slid into the back seat, and Lexa slammed the door shut. Clarke leaned forward after Lexa got in. “You know, you never really read me my rights, so technically, I’m not arrested.”

Lexa frowned. She wasn’t up on police protocol. The blonde could be right. “I said you had the right to remain silent.”

“That was all you said.”

Lexa picked up her phone, “Siri, please read the Miranda rights.” Lexa held up her phone, directing it towards Clarke as Siri read Clarke her rights. “There, now you’re officially arrested. I think.”

“I don’t think it counts if Siri reads me my rights,” Clarke groused.

When they got back to the station, Clarke went begrudgingly back into the cell.

After about ten minutes of silence, Clarke spoke up. “My friend thinks you’re hot, by the way.”

Lexa perked up. It was always nice to hear when someone thought you were hot. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. You interested?”

Lexa was flattered. And then imagined how sky high she would have been if Clarke was the one digging her. “That’s sweet, I don't usually go for brunettes. She’s very attractive though.”

“So, what, you like redheads?” Clarke was paging through a Readers Digest from years ago.

“Not usually, no.”

“Well, I guess that leaves blondes.” Clarke looked up, catching Lexa staring at her.

Lexa blushed, hoping she was far enough away that Clarke couldn’t see the pink in her cheeks. “I guess it does.”

Clarke stood up and walked around the cell. “You owe me a shirt by the way.”

Lexa was caught off guard. “What?”

“You spilled beer on my favorite shirt last year at The Tower.”

Lexa was thankful that she didn’t have her chair tipped back at that moment, because she was sure she would have toppled over again. My god. This was totally unexpected. Clarke remembered. Her heart began to beat wildly in her chest. She tried to figure out the best way to handle this information. She decided to act cool, act like she didn't remember. “Uh...hm.” Lexa glanced to the right, trying to look like she was concentrating. “I...ah, I don't remember that. Are you sure it was me?”

Clarke was staring at the vending machine now. “I never forget a face. Especially one with green eyes.”

Lexa fingered her collar, trying to get some air to her overheated chest cavity. “Well, I guess I could have, I really don’t remember.”

“Oh, it was you.” Clarke put some money in the vending machine and pulled the old fashion lever. She took her pack of gummi bears and sat down at the tiny table. “So, what do you do when you’re not copping it up on the weekends?”

Lexa was still floating about on cloud nine.

“Earth to Woo.”

“What? Oh, I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“What do you do? Besides being the worst cop on the planet?”

“Oh, I’m not really a cop. I was just coerced into helping today. Deputized kinda. I’m a writer.”

“Yeah? Published?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. Would I have read your book?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. It was a spy thriller, called _The Phoenix_. It’s a series. About a woman who works for the government, kicking the bad guys asses. I’m writing book two now.”

“Well, I haven’t read it.”

“Not many people did,” Lexa said softly. “What do you do?”

“I’m a photographer, I paint, I’m an activist.”

“Nice. So, getting arrested is like a part time career for you.”

“Yes, yes, it is,” Clarke said with a half-smile.

“Who usually bails you out? Raven?”

“Well, lately my boyfriend. But, I think he just broke up with me earlier.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” To say that Lexa was disappointed at the revelation that Clarke was straight was a vast understatement.

“It’s okay. I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.”

“So, do you just hang out at gay bars to be with your friends?”

“Oh, no. I’m Bi. I was with a woman before this latest male fiasco.”

And just like that the sun came out and the birds started singing. Lexa watched as Clarke got up again to go to the vending machine. She put her money in, pulled the lever and waited.

“Shit, c’mon.” Clarke banged on the machine. “This thing just ate my money.”

Lexa got up and went over to the cell, “It did?”

“Yeah, I just lost a buck fifty. I wanted more gummi bears.”

Lexa opened the door to the cell and went over to the machine. “Let me see if I can help.” She put her hands on the sides of the machine and pushed it back and forth. When that didn’t work, she tried to move it side to side. She could see Clarke’s pack of gummies hanging by a thread. She huffed and puffed for a few minutes. Finally, the gummies fell to the bottom of the machine. She reached under and pulled them out, waving them in the air. “Got ‘em!”

Clarke laughed and took the bears. “You want any?”

“No thanks.” Lexa walked to the door of the cell. Clarke held it ajar for her as she passed through, closing it behind her.

They spent the next half hour mainly in silence, each engrossed in their own thoughts. Lexa would steal glances at Clarke every few minutes, telling herself that she needed to keep an eye on her. She was slippery. When her leg started to fall asleep, Lexa got up and walked outside, needing to stretch and get some fresh air. She soaked up the sun for about ten minutes. When she walked back into the office, she was met by an empty jail cell.

“Son of a bitch!” She ran over and looked at the door. She was sure she heard it shut when it closed earlier. She checked the jam. Inside the latch were about six gummies, all jammed in there so the latch wouldn’t click. “Son of a bitch!” Yes, Lexa managed to lose her inmate for the third time today. This must be a new world record. She ran outside and looked up and down the streets. At least this time the cruiser was still in its spot. She jumped into it, started the engine, and coasted slowly up and down the streets, looking for bouncy, blonde hair.

An hour later, Lexa sat slumped at the desk. She had no idea where Clarke managed to get to. Anya was gonna kill her. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out, not bothering to glance at the number. “Hello?”

“Hey Woo, where are you?”

She nearly dropped the phone. It was Clarke. “God damn it, Clarke! Where are you? Whose phone is this?”

“It’s Raven’s.”

Lexa had a little steam coming out of her ears. “And how did you get my number?”

“I used your phone earlier, remember?”

Lexa cursed her stupidity. “Oh shit, yeah. Where are you?” she demanded.

“Raven and I are at Grounder’s. I needed some caffeine. Since someone spit mine out all over a police car.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“How do you like your coffee?”

Lexa paused. She could use a late afternoon cup of Joe. “Just one cream. The flavored kind. A shot of hazelnut would be great.”

“Okay.”

“And I’ll be right there, don’t move!” Lexa said sternly.

“Where am I gonna go?”

When Lexa got to Grounder’s, she again plopped down in the empty chair next to Clarke.

“Here you go, Woo.” Clarke slid the eighteen ounces of heaven in Lexa’s direction.

“Thank you.”

“Make sure you blow on it,” Clarke said with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Very funny. I have a blister on my tongue from that.”

“I bet you do.”

Raven pointed at her bestie. “Clarke, you should apologize to her girlfriend, for messing up her tongue and all.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend right now,” Lexa said meekly.

Raven stared at Lexa with wide eyes, then turned to Clarke and wiggled her eyebrows. Clarke just smirked.

“Hey Woo, who’s this?” Raven shoved her phone in Lexa’s face.

“Ah, that’s Luna.”

“Yeah, she’s hot. I got her digits. You know her?”

Of course, Lexa knew Luna, well, knew of her, since she was the only other lesbian in Arkadia. “I’ve only talked to her a couple of times. She lives pretty far out of town.”

“Is she a good kisser?” Raven asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you a good kisser?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just curious.”

Clarke leaned into Lexa. “You’re off the hook, she set her sights on this Luna chick now. Must have been the cut-off flannel shirt.”

Raven beamed. “Yeah, she’s hot. Nice toned arm muscles. She was like a lumberjack .”

“Would that be a lumberjill?” Clarke asked absently, playing with Lexa’s phone that had been left on the table.

Their conversation was interrupted by Anya yelling over the walkie. “Woods, where the fuck are you, and where the fuck is my prisoner?”

Raven’s mouth dropped open, “Oh shit, Woo, your ass is grass, girl.”

Lexa grabbed her coffee and stood up. “Hey, give me my phone. Now c’mon Clarke, let’s go, before I become the laughing stock of Arkadia.”

Raven chortled. “You lost your prisoner three times in one day, Woo. There’s no before, you are.”

Lexa glared at her as she pushed her button. “Roger, sheriff, we are heading back your way now, over.” Lexa put the walkie talkie back in her belt clip.

“Shit, Woods, tell me you lost her again?” Bellamy crowed over the airwaves.

“How not to be a cop,” Octavia mocked.

Barbara chimed in, “Lexa, do you need me to help subdue your prisoner, honey? I may not look like much, but I’m pretty strong.”

Lexa closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m fine Barbara. Heading back to base.”

“You give a shout out if you need me...Evelyn! Evelyn! Did you hear about Herb...his pecker fell clean off…”

Raven did a double take, “Who lost a pecker?”

Clarke looked at her as Lexa led her away, “Herb.”

“Oh shit, poor Herb.” Raven shook her head at poor Herb’s plight. “Oh Clarke, call me when you’re out!”

Clarke gave her a wave as she got back in the squad car. She gave a little yelp of joy when she found her phone wedged in the seat.

They drove back to the station in silence. Anya met them at the door. She stepped aside as Lexa escorted Clarke back to the jail cell. When Lexa was done locking her up, she went back over to the desk and sat down, stewing over her own ineptness.

Anya wandered over and sat on the desk. “Remind me not to hire you again.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

“Everything’s cleared up now, if you wanna leave.”

“Good, I’m beat. I’ll drop off the uniform tomorrow, okay?” Anya nodded. “What’s gonna happen to her?” Lexa asked, nodding her head in Clarke’s direction.

“She’ll be fine.”

“Does she need to post bail? Cause I’ll post it for her.”

“It’s a thousand dollars.”

“Okay.”

“You’d post bail for some chick you don’t even know? Who’s been fleeing your custody all day?”

Lexa thought about that. And decided, yes, she would. “Yeah, I would.”

“Go home, I promise she’ll be fine.”

Lexa glanced over at the blonde.

“Bye Woo.” Clarke gave a small wave through the bars of her cell, a sad expression settling around her blue eyes. “It was fun.”

“Bye Clarke.” Lexa turned and walked slowly out of the building. She was having a tough time getting her feet to move in the right direction, which was away from the station. She felt like she was leaving something behind. Or someone. Her car was three blocks away, so she had plenty of time to puzzle over her feelings.

Just as she got to her car, keys in hand, she heard a shout.

“Woo!”

She looked up to see Clarke running towards her. Before she knew what hit her, Clarke was jumping into her arms, smashing lips into hers. Lexa wrapped her up, holding her in place.

Clarke broke off the kiss and Lexa carefully slid her down.

Lexa was overwhelmed with a feeling of disbelief, her heart beating a crazy rhythm. If her hands were free, she would have pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. “Wow. I don’t understand…did you escape again?”

Clarke laughed, and it was a glorious sound to Lexa’s ears. “No silly. They didn’t press charges. In fact, the whole thing is over. Seems Mr. Sleaze Murphy fudged some environmental reports. So, no pipeline.”

“Oh my god, that’s awesome! And then...you...came looking for me?” Lexa asked with a look of wonder. Her hands remained on Clarke’s hips, wanting to keep her close.

She raised a brow, “What can I say, I’m a sucker for a woman in uniform.”

“Even if it’s an ill-fitted cotton blend uniform?”

“Doesn’t matter.” A corner of Clarke’s mouth quirked up as she reached to touch a cheek. She came in close, her lips hovering near Lexa’s mouth. “Have dinner with me tomorrow night,” she said breathlessly.

Lexa pulled back, “Like a date?”

Blue eyes twinkled. “Yes, like a date, Lexa.”

“You know my name?” She knew that was a silly question, but it was the first time she heard it come from Clarke’s mouth, and it gave her a secret thrill.

“Of course I know your name.” Clarke’s soft gaze felt like a caress. “ I’ve been looking for you. Ever since that night”

Lexa felt like her heart was going to soar out of her chest. If this was a dream, she did not want to wake up. Like, ever. “Really?”

“Really.”

Lexa leaned in and rested her forehead against Clarke’s. “I have a confession,” she said sheepishly.

Clarke gently stroked the side of her face. “I know you remember me, Woo. You’re a terrible liar.”

Lexa started laughing. “I was trying to play it cool.” Since this was obviously her dream, she decided to be bold, and she captured Clarke’s lips with hers, reveling in the sensations that were rippling through her body.

They were interrupted by the beep of a car horn. “Yo, get a room,” Raven yelled.

The girls looked over at her, Lexa’s arms still around Clarke, not wanting to let her go.

“I gotta go. Call me tomorrow, Woo. Or I’ll come looking for you.” Clarke gave her a lingering kiss goodbye, then spun out of Lexa’s arms and got in the car.

“Clarke, I don’t have your phone number!” Lexa shouted in a panic.

“Yes, you do.” They drove off, beeping and waving.

Lexa scrolled through her phone, hands shaking from emotion. When she got to the “G’s,” she beamed. Hot damn, she wasn’t dreaming. Things were looking up. She was sure she had the most asinine smile on her face while she stared at Clarke’s photo on the contact page. She was posing behind the bars of her cell. That was a keeper. The vibration of her phone startled her. It was a text from Clarke.

_don’t forget your handcuffs_

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it, my pathetic attempt at a one shot. It is a little easier to get the funnies rolling with characters that are fully developed within a multi-chapter fic. But. Whatevs. It was fun to write. Shout out to LisaM for the title!


End file.
